It’s The Little Things
Sometimes in life, we can take things for granted. We don’t show appreciation to the people who love us the most or we misuse what we’ve been granted to have. Whatever the case may be, it’s the little things that build up into bigger problems.
When people get married, I don’t think many do it with the intent of getting a divorce. However, over time, if you are not addressing the little issues that come up, it’s only a matter of time before it will snowball into an avalanche.
Here are 3 ways to help divorce-proof your marriage.
1) Address Any Issues
Even in the best marriages, there will be issues. Let’s face it, these are two individuals with their own ideas, interest, and characteristics, coming together to operate as one person. So it is perfectly normal to not see eye to eye on everything. When you do disagree however, this is not the time to brush it under the rug. The more you ignore it, the bigger the mess you have to clean up later.
For example, it could start off with something as simple as not being able to make a decision on what to eat. Now, this is something that is quite trivial and we wouldn’t think anything about it. Then as time goes by, all those times of not being about to make a decision can fester into “you never want to make a decision about anything.”
Whoa, where did that come from?
It all started from an unspoken and minor issue that quickly got old with one spouse. Frustration begins to build and before you realize it, anger has entered your heart all because you failed to effectively communicate something that bothered you.
2)Don’t Allow Anger to Linger
We all know how this situation plays out. The question is asked, “what’s wrong?” Nine times out of ten, the answer is “Nothing.” But then hours, days, weeks, months and sometimes years can go by where one spouse may be holding on to an offense they felt by the other spouse. However, when given the opportunity to express how you feel, you resort to suppressing your emotions.
Maybe you do it to avoid an argument, or because you don’t want to face something within yourself. In the end, not addressing the little things will only cause you to harbor resentment that will eventually rise to the surface and become bigger than it should.
There is a reason that the Bible says to not let the sun go down on your anger.
Going to bed mad can cause issues to linger longer than necessary. You may not be able to work everything out before you go to sleep but do everything you can to extinguish the anger before you close your eyes.
I know a lot of us like to think that we have it all together and under control. This is however further from the truth. We all need to be held accountable for our actions. In a marriage, we are to hold each other accountable but it’s always good to have a trusted advisor outside of your marriage who is able to call out your mess and be an unbiased voice of reason.
We are to surround ourselves with like-minded individuals who can build us up and help us get back on track when we fall off. Though marriage is a sacred covenant between couples and God, He wants us to be in community with others. Seek out other couples who have some experience under their belt that can assist you through the ebbs and flows of marriage.
It all boils down to communication.
When we fail to communicate our wants, desires, and issues with our spouse, we are creating an opening for the enemy to infiltrate. It’s the little things that can cause division, strife, and discord with a marriage. It is our job to keep God in the middle and remember that we are on the same team as our spouse.
The enemy’s role is to steal our joy, kill our peace and to destroy the institution of marriage at all costs. So be watchful and don’t take for granted the little things that you encounter within your marriage. Make a conscious effort to work together and not against each other. When you choose your battles, be sure that you’re both fighting side by side against the real enemy.
For those of us who are or have been divorced, may you remember this as you prepare for or are already positioned in the divine marriage God has for you. Please share any advice you may have that would be helpful to others in the comments below.
In Relentless Pursuit,
“Our vineyards are in blossom; we must catch the little foxes that destroy the vineyards.” – Song of Songs 2:15 CEV